One of the most common questions I get asked as a psychic is: “when will he (or she) call?”

This usually comes on the heels of one of two potential relationship scenarios:

1: they’ve made a connection with someone who seemed promising at the time but hasn’t followed up; or

2: there’s been discord in an existing relationship and no one has called to try to make things right.

In both scenarios the client is clearly “waiting” for the other person to make a move, but what they don’t understand is that getting that to happen is far more in their hands than anything else, and that what they do (or don’t do) now can make all the difference in the world.

First and foremost, waiting always manifests as waiting — energetically — which means that doing so will either prolong or prevent you from getting the outcome you desire.

That doesn’t mean you have to be literally curled up in a ball or sitting by the phone. Waiting takes on many forms. It can be as simple as checking your phone for missed calls or text messages; checking (and rechecking) the other person’s status on social networking sites; nudging things along by sending out mass emails or updating your own social networking status (with the expectation that the other person will see it); holding off on making other plans or accepting other invitations, and so on. Hang up calls fall into this category too, but lets hope you’re too old for that now.

There are numerous forms of “waiting” that you’re probably not even aware of, because you are after all still attending to your day to day affairs. But if you’re also in any way preoccupied or fixated on someone who’s just not calling, you can bet you’re waiting. And that will invariably slow things down.

When we’re involved with someone romantically — even if it hasn’t yet developed into anything more than an attraction — we don’t have any trouble believing that we share some kind of deep psychic connection. But what most of us fail to understand, at least initially, is that this connection extends to “energy” which is transmitted both ways. That energy is not conscious or observable, but it’s just as powerful. For that reason, the last thing you want to do at this stage is to let that energy stall.

It is my belief that “anxiety” is a psychic phenomenon. Which means that when you’re feeling anxious — frantic, panicking, obsessing, perseverating, etc. — it’s your subconscious mind telling you that there’s a reason to be anxious. The other person is not thinking of you, or not as invested, or not comfortable with the energy he or she is picking up from you. With that in mind, it’s absolutely not the time to break down and make that call yourself.

Why? Because while the energy does transmit both ways it gets distorted in the translation. It gets exaggerated and overblown. Your feeling anxious can translate as pushy, needy or desperate, for example. And the other person will organically balance that out by becoming cold, vague, avoidant or indifferent. This then spirals into a greater division which could have been avoided.

This is one instance where “trusting your instincts” is not in your best interest. Because these instincts get skewed by your anxiety, which is already telling you it’s not happening! Your “instincts” will try to trick you into calling or sending a casual text, which will backfire because the other person is already feeling uncomfortable with your level of interest. Even if that’s an unconscious awareness. So it’s like throwing a bucket of water to a drowning man. It can only widen the rift.

So how do you remedy this situation? How do you get around the “waiting game” and turn it back to your advantage? Provided that you catch it before it’s too late — which means before you’ve ignored all the earlier signals and completely alienated the other person — you can turn this around by shifting your energy in the complete opposite direction. This doesn’t just mean no calls, texts, IM’s, emails, etc. It also means trusting that everything you do gets transmitted just as powerfully whether it’s transmitted consciously or unconsciously.

Ask yourself what you would be doing if he or she had a bird’s eye view into all of your private activities. Would you be doing Facebook drive-bys? Checking your phone to see if you missed a call? Panicking over what feels to you like a full-fledged rejection? Or would you be dressed to the nines, going out with friends, fending off other romantic interests (only because there are so many!) and in general living the full and rich life that you’re entitled to be living?

Once you look at it that way it becomes easier to shift that energy. And once you do that, the Universe responds by bringing you more of the same. More interest directed toward you — including that of the person you’re no longer waiting for to call — and less repelling energy. You’ll know it’s working when out of the blue that phone call does come, much more quickly than it would have otherwise.

*** this article first appeared on the Psychic Scoop website.

I am available for live chat consultations in 30 and 60 minute increments at the rate of $4 per minute for 30 minute sessions and $3 per minute for 60-minute sessions.

Please note that I do not offer free readings and these are the lowest rates you will find me at online. I am located in the US, in the Eastern time zone.

Want to learn more about how you can shift your own energy to attract what you want (and stop attracting what you don’t want) into your life?

I highly recommend the books Energetic Boundaries, by Cyndi Dale,

I also recommend the guided meditation Energy Shift, which is available on audio CD or live stream, by Susan S. Anderson.

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